Bi-polar disorder.

I feel trapped in by my own animosity

lost in translation..my mind conflicted by this constriction

my heart heavy with her pain and my own..

She lost the life of her only love.. I lost the only love of my life

now i wonder why our happiness is not permanent...i guess we bother know why

the tears seem endless...so does the pain. A change in my mind set seems insane..i tried..and tried again to forget...thats never going to happen..im never going to forget

im done trying to forget...now all i want to do is remember
one moment i want to forget..the next i want to remember every last detail..

The day seems to get hotter as the night seems to get colder but only for me...noone else can see you but me...noone else can hear you but me!

Is this real or just a dream..i surrender everything because i desperately remember your last words the me "i love you"

i dont understand this feeling. This bi-polar disorder. Do you? One moment im better the next im worse..wow it feels like an eternal curse.

Why dream of things that do not exist?

Its pretty late yet i sit here and contemplate the thngs i can and cannot have
I've had it good, cant complain,got a bed to sleep on at night
got lots of friends to console me when filled with fright.
Why dream of things that do not exist,
why dream of a world filled with people willing to assist,
filled with people who take risks,
why dream of a world without war,
why dream of a world without someone as thick as a door,
why dream of things tht do not exist?

Why dream of a love that doesnt exist?
if it did wouldnt we be able to js co-exist...?
with people of different ethnic backgrounds
different colours,different cultures,religions and wht have u
Why dream of a world without genocide
a world where people dont committ suicide
again i ask Why dream of a love that doesnt exist?
A love so deep,so strong so interminably intense and passionate
tht nothing cud break it..
if it did why would men rape their kids
why wud women go to bed with bruised lips

I am not happy, i am content
I am at peace with myself and the world
Im at peace with the various religions
that lay like a gurdle furled.
This is the time for me to shine
no boys and all that jazz..
I dream because i want to change all these things,
i dont want to live in a world conqured by genocide,suicide and homocide
I dont want to live in a world without love..I dont wna live in a world thats black and white
I want to make a difference n in order to do tht i have to dream.
I have to believe!!

They say dreamers are extremists,I say dreamers are realistic idealists
Are u a dreamer?

I wish...

I wish u understood
how badly i yearn to turn back the hands of time
to fix whatever I've done to lose this great friend of mine
It weighs on me heavily
the thoughts of our sweet memories
singing sweet melodies of pain
and the relation between ur being vain and i insane

I wish u could understand
How much i care,
left myself bare with vulnerability
encompassed in the liquidity of our state of mind
Im running out of time to say the things I wish u could be
I know that ur lying everytime u look at me
Your eyes play the game of deception but i see ryt through
I wish u could understand half the things i been through

I wish u could see how much this hurts me
I wish u could see past the shades of empty lullabies i sing
I wish what we had wasn't nothing
I wish what we had was worth something
I wish u could be just one thing
Yourself  instead of this person ur pretending to be.